  
  
Hi, just looking for as much feedback as I can get. I got some earlier that I'm not sure how to make use of and am looking to see if I'll get the same feedback with other readers.

I don't plan to go back and rewrite or revise the first chapter for the upteenth time, but will take the feedback into account when going for the second draft or use it on future chapters. If you have an idea of what the last reader meant, please leave me some insight.

Spoiler for the last feedback.

>!You seem to really have an issue with character writing, and that's twice now I've had this complaint. I want to say you just struggle to cast a defining role to each of your characters and instead just write down whoever you can add at the next available opportunity, but I think it's more the point that neither the plot nor the character reinforce one another. I don't know who Kharss is or why he matters. And you could survive that aperture if you made up for it with the general storytelling, but again you just have the same issue as last time where it's like you don't have a proper arc in mind before you commit to the journey. More particularly here, you talk about the story components more than you actually deliver it. After a certain point, you have made the case that this is a story featuring magic and a school. Congratulations: you have joined the parade. Now make it stand out by featuring a pull towards the greater arc.!<

>!You might say, '*Oh well this chapter is about getting the reader into the world*.'!<

>!Yeah, I've heard that before.!<

>!That argument could work if the world was genuinely unique and had some self-serving merit. But I challenge you to point to one unique element in that entire chapter. I genuinely couldn't count one, and when that happens, your old pal Mr. Plot should come up with the big 'FOCUS ON ME' sign instead so you don't just walk us through a land we can already infer within the first minute and a half.!<

>!**Overall**!<

>!Plot first, everything else secondary or tethered to it. Scenes that don't drive towards a clear destination may as well be stuck in the mud waiting on a towing agent to come bring em to chop-shops so some other authors can use the parts to make something that might get the engine going again. This is a wordy way of saying: write with the plot in mind and reach the contribution to the arc by the end. This should naturally make writing the characters easier. Thanks for the chapter.!<

Looking for Feedback for First Chapter to Confirm Other Feedback.