Kinda lost in my own life

I don’t know what’s been happening to me lately, but my bad days are starting to outweigh the good ones. It takes so little for me to have my entire day ruined and to lose my good mood. Like today, I just slept badly, and suddenly thoughts started running through my head about how I regret every decision I’ve ever made, how I regret not jumping off that bridge back then and instead “giving up.”
I think about death very often—whether there’s even any point to my life, whether I should keep living or end it. I can’t enjoy the things I used to love anymore. I’m falling back into the same patterns as always… I don’t want to just survive, I want to live.
Even now, when I had an opportunity for a positive change in my life—a job—it’s not working out, and it looks like it won’t happen, just like everything else in my miserable life. I also started talking to a woman. We went on a date, and I deeply regret ever talking to her, regret that I ever messaged her. Why? I don’t even know myself.
Something hasn’t been right with me for quite a long time, and I don’t know what to do about it anymore… I can talk about it for hours, but in the end I’ll just be feeling sorry for myself.