I am going crazy

Throaway account here for privacy reasons.

So people - help me understand this person and settle my feelings.

He is a chinese colleauge I have been working with since few years. Recently i was on holiday in China so we met once for dinner, nothing happen just friendly and eat together with my family and him plus couple of more colleaugues. I must be honest to admit the first time i saw him he left a very strong impression on me and I kinda liked him at first sight, but we both have families so I just kept this on my own and went on with life.

It has been few months already and I have returned to my home country. Recently however we keep talking more and more frequently both on Teams but also on Wechat. We share stories and jokes, it is a mix between personal and work stuff. However I can hint a pinch of flirt in his speech sometimes, for example he told me in at least two occasions that I am indeed beatiful, when addressing me he calls me my dear and once when talking about holidays and how i will eat good food and loose my weight progress he mention “another Chinese saying: 唯有美人和美食不可辜负， it means the beauty and the delicious food can\`t be ignored. \[😄\] “.

After this some more time pass and things get busy at work, when only yesterday he start to send me some videos on wechat of people playing music and after a bit send me the Butterfly Lover song and tells me the story behind it. it was indeed very romantic and the conversation got quite deep talking in general about feelings and emotions and so on, he talk with me like one hour and its almost mightnight in china and i know the next day he has also work so we wished each other good night and closed the conversation there.

Then today comes and he seem more distant and throws my family in the conversation randomly saying that now he has an excuse to visit my country as me and my family are there, and then tells me he want to go sleep early 😱. I tell him to take care and the chat ends there.

I am a very stupid person when it comes to flirting or relathionships, so i do not really understand this situation fully. I do not know if those are things of just friendly colleauges or something more. The only thing I know is that speaking to him has stirred in me many emotions.

I just want to share this with someone and hear some feedback, Please do not judge me I know this is wrong as we both have family but i have felt an emotional connection with him, I cannot explain we can talk to each other and understand things, i rarely feel this with other people.

I do not expect to disrupt his life also, but i really cherish on the other hand this connection and I do not want to loose it. If these behaviours are indeed flirty and he has a conflict i wish to tell him not to worry and to take things easy, but also that I do not know how to tell to him. this with other people including my family.

Any advice is much appreciated as I am litteraly breaking here