Food: Peppered fish filets on sourdough toast and arugula salad.

I’m 28F and currently in the middle of a high-conflict divorce. Recently, a longtime-ish male friend reached out and asked whether I might be open to the possibility of getting to know each other better- after my divorce is over and things are stable for me.

I’ll admit I was surprised, although not completely blindsided. A few weeks ago, he had asked if we could move our conversations off social media and talk through text. He already had my number from years ago, when he had asked me to add him on another app because I was looking for people to join it.

We’ve known each other for several years, including before I was married. He has always been respectful and kind, but strictly in a friendship way as far as I knew. We’ve had some good intellectual conversations over the years, asked each other’s opinions on things, etc. After I got married, we barely talked- maybe a few times a year with the usual “how are you, what’s new?” kind of conversations. Once, he asked my opinion about the behavior of a woman he was thinking of asking out.

A few months ago he checked in on me, and after some conversation I told him about my divorce and some of the abuse that preceded it. He was very understanding and supportive. Since then, he has stayed in contact more than he normally would- checking in every couple of weeks, sending interesting or inspirational videos, and asking how things are going.

He’s been respectful throughout this, although I know that “he’s being respectful” doesn’t necessarily tell me much at this point.

Eventually, he asked whether I would be open to meeting new people, either now or once things had settled down. I told him I’m absolutely not looking to date right now, but that maybe I’d feel differently later.

He responded that he completely understood, didn’t want to pressure me, and that I could take however much time I needed. But he said he wanted to ask me something honestly: putting everything else aside, could I ever see a future where the two of us might get to know each other better?

And honestly… maybe?

I’m wary. I know I’m vulnerable right now, and I know that vulnerability can be exploited. My marriage has also left me thoroughly turned off from men in general, and I have a small child to consider. I’m nowhere near being in the headspace to date, and there’s a very real possibility that I won’t be interested in dating anyone even after the divorce is finalized.

At the same time, this isn't some random guy who appeared because he heard I was getting divorced. I've known him for years. He knew me before my marriage, has never previously behaved in a way that made me think he was pursuing me, and our relationship has historically been pretty platonic and sporadic.

I’m wondering whether it’s reasonable to simply leave the door cracked open and, once my life is actually stable and I’m in a completely different headspace, consider getting to know him better and see what I think.

Or am I overlooking something because I’m vulnerable and craving some evidence that there are decent men out there?

Would you keep the door open?