Entitled mother is close to being uninvited to my wedding...

Hey fellow potatoes and the potato queen!!

I'm new to the posting story life, but I'm no stranger to the potato community. I love the stories and the advice given. I know we all enjoy a long and enjoyable story... so I guess let's get to it!!! Also a little backstory and I apologize for no names.

I am a 32-year-old female and my fiance is 31-year-old male. We have known each other since our Middle School Days and he has been my best friend since. He was, and still is, the best thing that has ever entered my life and I sure wish we did not have to have the distance that we did.

My mother, 50 something year old female, has always had the spotlight, and if she didn't everyone would know. Also, my mother and I had never seen eye to eye, or could ever seem to get along and I have tried throughout the years to have a relationship with her. To the point I would warn people about her tendencies and she had everyone fooled until several years later and then they realized I was not lying. She also used to body shame me and has ruined my self-esteem, but I have somehow still managed to get through. Also during Middle School graduation she couldn't even be bothered to come watch me graduate, because she was too busy packing up our life to move...again. she wouldn't even let me go hang out with my friends that I would not get to see for a while. Ironically my best guy friend who is my now fiance, he was the one that had to help us move. Did I mention on our GRADUATION DAY!!!

After all that, getting settled into the new life, and dealing with high school having a few boyfriends here and there, as we all do. Anyone who I would bring over, my mom had always tried to impress or just simply get the attention of anyone who would give it to her. She even went as far as showing off her bikini which I don't mind if she wanted to show me, whatever, but she had the audacity to flaunt it front of my boyfriend at the time. I asked her politely if she could not and she's like this is my house. Then I was like we're just leaving. Not to mention, she has owed me money, obviously this is when I moved out, and my baby sister had needed something for her cheerleading, so I helped out and she told me that they would pay me back. Which obviously I have not seen any of that money and I never will. Also I typically don't hold grudges or a lot of resentment towards people, but if they have done me wrong for basically a whole lifetime yeah I think I'm going to hold that grudge. Also she has asked me time and time again why I can't tell her I love her, I'm sure we can all guess why.

Talking about my mom is a story in itself, I'm sure y'all can tell. And I know y'all don't do judgment and this is a tight little family the potatoes all have. Also before anybody does try to make comments that are not nice let's just say I will let you know I have tried everything possible to make amends with her, and still till this day and somehow she still manages to surprise me on the disappointment. But moving along!

Years go by, 15 years or so, I finally reunite with my now fiance. We finally make it official in March 20, 2024. We got engaged December 19th 2025 and currently in the process of planning our wedding which will be held December 5th 2026. I cannot be any more happier! We have a beautiful family, I have two sons, one is almost 10 and my other is almost 8. Previous relationships that's another story. And then, my fiance and I have a baby girl who will be 2 years old in January. So we got it going on lol!

Now we are slightly caught up onto the title of the story. Again I apologize for it being long, but then again y'all enjoy that!!

I have been trying to plan out everything, and it has been going far so well. My bridesmaids are all in order, my maid of honor is up to speed on what I want, plans are all coming together I have my dress I have all my accessories, we even have all the music choices and the venue all situated. The only thing that has been really stressing me out lately and I'm sure y'all can guess it, is my mother. She has been constantly arguing with me and nitpicking every little bit of her mother of the bride dress. I'm sure every bride knows, on top of everyone else, the bride has the final say on everything due to the fact of the aesthetic / theme of what the bride wants on her wedding day. I had sent a few decent options for my mother that have been appropriate and have went with the theme, or at least remotely close to. I'm not trying to be a bridezilla, I'm just trying to get her to understand the day is not about her and that is exactly how she's trying to treat it as. Her husband has even explained to her that she just needs to pick what I chose and go with it. She even got so upset that she couldn't pick what she wanted, but let's face it, she tries to pick something that I don't want to say "outshines" what I plan on wearing, but pretty d*** close!

Her dress had just came in a few days ago, and she tried it on. My sister helped her with it because it ties in the back a little bit, think corset, and before even communicating with me she had already tried to refund and send it back. Which obviously rubbed me the wrong way. My fiance and I go up to her house the other day, and I asked her to try on the dress and I will help her with it and I got it more closed up in the back then what my sister did, and our mother did not like that at all. And she didn't want to listen to what I had to say about taking the dress to get it altered or to see if they could do something to make it fit a little bit better and hem it up a bit, she's been on me about getting alterations done to my dress if need be but that again she can't listen to her own advice. Make that make sense please. We spent legit AN HOUR! Discussing backup dresses and every single one I have picked has been a reasonable option, and she wanted to throw in my face I do not have a say so in the dress. Giving bombastic side eye 👀 also she proceeds to tell me that she is wearing her Tahitian blue pearl necklace, which okay it's fine, she let me look at the necklace and it's really pretty. I simply tell her I plan on wearing pearls with my dress, plain and simple. Or so I thought, she snatches her necklace from me and flat out raises her voice a bit and tells me she don't care what I'm wearing, she's going to wear what she wants to. I'm flabbergasted at this point. I tell her calmly, even though I'm raging, I was like I was just simply telling you what I planned on accessorizing my dress with. Also my mom's husband told her to go ahead and get the dress that I approved of and if there was anything that needed to be done it could be done, but not to give me a hard time on it.

Once that was done and over with, we go back out to the living room where my fiance is and again start looking at dresses. I'm aggravated that she's not wanting to give me this one time of me being in control and her listening to me at least once. Especially since we all never thought I would be getting married. She has the audacity to pull up a different dress and ask my fiance his opinion on a dress that she would like to wear, and compare it to the dress that I want her to wear. The dress that she wants to go with has lace. Don't get me wrong lace is pretty but it's not part of the theme and it's a little too flashy and it's complete opposite of what she didn't want either. She didn't want to dress that showed her ankles, but then again the dress shows her ankles. Now who knows when it comes to my mom I might be trying to be a little bridezilla, but you would figure out of you know 20 something years, and I only say that because I lived with my grandparents for a while to have a break from my mother when I was younger.

There's just a lot going on, and this Saturday I plan on going to try on my dress finally and see what needs to be altered, and I just hope she doesn't try too hard. She tells me she doesn't want to upstage me or anything the old her is gone, but honestly it's not the old her is still there. She denies it I just wish she would agree with me for once or at least do what I asked of her once in my life.

But about to have to end this for now, my boys are about home from school. But before I do head off of here one other piece that I forgot to mention. She has a spare dress that is the color of baby s*** . And said she could potentially get an ivory pullover to go with it. Bombastic side eye, are you effing kidding me. I look at her with the most outrageous look on my face and say there is no way in hell you are wearing ivory or white of any means!!!!!! The sheer audacity. I know this isn't exactly am I overreacting or AITA. Maybe some insight or a different perspective would be nice. I know I'm kind of a people pleaser I see that look on your face Charlotte, we know all about that. I have been working on it for a while now. But I would love some feedback and I can always update!! Till then, I will talk to you later potato fam!! Love ya!