What to do with a friend that “left” the friend group?
I am a 19 year old student, moved to the 3rd year of university. I have a friend group: me, 19 Jake, couple 18 Maria and 19 Fred, and the main subject of my post 18 Vicky
Our friends Marian and Fred started dating in February this year, so it has been half a year, pretty solid and happy for them! But Vicky wasn’t that happy. Eventually she started to distance herself, talk a little shit about them, that it is wrong etc.
So in June we got our finals, we passed them) During that time Vicky never went out with us. She said that she had some health problems, that’s bad ofc, but she said it only to me, though Maria and her were like best friends
Just a week later some shit happened to me, everyone except her said at least something to me, privately or in a group chat
Then came the birthdays of Fred and Jake in a friend group: end of June and July. They never had a birthday text from her
Right after this she LEFT our group chat and didn’t say anything, we didn’t bother texting either.
Between this time we noticed she unfollowed everyone of our group in Instagram and Tiktok except Maria, though they were not talking at all like they did before. Also she still follows and likes everything on my other friend’s profile everywhere, but I am from the other side of the country so they never met each other or even talked
One month earlier before all of this Vicky started dating, we met the guy he seemed cool, I don’t care to be fair
Some things that are worth mentioning:
- I kinda liked Vicky and one time asked her on a coffee, she refused. That’s fine with me we still we friends
- turned out she was talking shit about all of the boys to the driving instructor. We figured it out because Maria and Fred also studied driving with that instructor
So in 1 month university continues, out study groups were changed so I got in the one with Vicky and Jake, and Maria and Fred are on the other group, though we will meet on lectures. Also I am the head of my group, so everyone’s requests will go through me, including hers
Now I don’t know how to act. I feel disgusted by this behavior and I don’t want to be treated like this. But at the same time I feel it’s bit me who has to choose how we should talk to her, she didn’t harm me or anything, but I don’t want to talk to her.
Obviously I don’t know her side of the story, but do I want to? Not really, she made up her mind and reposted tiktoks that people betray her. I plan on not making a scene out of it, just keep going. But I am thinking what if she comes to us and acts like nothing happened? I mean technically nothing bad happened, but she were the asshole I might say
So reddit, what would you do in my situation? I wasn’t very close to her, but closer than most of the people
Posted Aug 12, 2026, 8:27 PM UTC