I think my boyfriend is making me grow up too fast and I’m starting to resent him

He’s cringed to me wanting to bring bubbles and play outside. We were going to somewhere intimate where it would be just us, but in his own words “para ka namang bonjing”

And looking for a job the past few weeks has been tiring because I always have to make an introduction video. When said I hated how I needed to do it all over again, he said at this point in our lives I shouldn’t even complain about these things. Throwing negative energy on things I have to do will only make it draining, and he said it’s a bad habit to complain even if you know you’re still going to do them because it drains people

Other instances where I feel brushed off and felt like he’s been wanting me to grow out of my childlike nature is when I wanted to wear something bright and colorful and he said it made me look like a kid, but he said it with embarrassment and disapproval

The things I actually like looks so childish to me now, and I need to start acting my age. I know he meant well, but sometimes I just want a safe space where I can complain about simple things (I don’t even do it all the time so I don’t drain people) and I want a safe space where I can keep my childlike whimsical self at peace, doing what I genuinely like

How he rationalizes my problems and focuses so much on logic is helpful, but how he says it hurts sometimes and makes me feel lonely because I feel like he lacks empathy towards me.. Like him saying that’s just how the world is, so I shouldn’t be so soft. I know it’s true, the world has always been hard, but I guess it’s selfish to want him to be different from the world. I need him to be more nurturing and caring, but that’s not something I can force

He’s not a jerk but sometimes he talks and acts selfish. He cannot apologize for how he made me feel unless I tell him a simple apology would’ve helped. I get told I’m too sensitive but when I share how I feel just to talk about it, he makes it a big deal. I already toned it down emotionally for him but I can still feel him getting drained by how I feel.

I’m starting to resent him for not allowing me to feel things and him wanting me to face my problems like an adult. I am, I really am, but sometimes you just wanna ajdhejdjdjdh because you’re scared of what your future will be so you wanna do a good job but it just gets so hard sometimes and I just want him to see that without getting drained

I don’t want him to get tired of me being an emotional person, but for ducks sake he’s so inconsiderate and insensitive. I never talked to him like how he talks to me, and I would hate to make him feel like he’s weak for feeling discouraged and upset over simple things

I have my problems to fix, and the more I’m with him, the more I just know that I can never rely on him when I’m vulnerable.

He didn’t really apologize, more like lambing lang, so I kinda still feel disregarded. Paper cuts are piling up again.

I just don’t want to be told I’m too much to handle and that I’m emotionally draining anymore, but I wouldn’t be if he wasn’t like this to me

If you think we should break up, just know that affection isn’t his strong suit but he’s been trying and became more vocal about things that we have to talk about. Sometimes I just feel so lonely and don’t feel like I have a partner when I’m down. He says it’s better that the tough reality checks come from my partner so I know that it comes from a place of care, but I just feel like he’s getting tired of me. I don’t feel cared for when he’s being insensitive

So I told him that before he thinks I’m too much and I’m too emotional to handle, he should take a good look at himself. Sometimes the simple things end up in a big mess because of how much of an insensitive jerk he is to me. The audacity of this man to call me emotional when his outbursts all come from emotions that he can ignore me for days because of something minor because it’s “draining”

End of rant.

Now from one of my favorite songs:
Young hearts run free
Never be hung up
Hung up like my man and me
- Candi Staton