Why is it so difficult to be loved? What's so bad about being me?

I 23m. Have tried and tried and tried. I put myself in horrible positions just to try to find love, in fact I was chatting with a guy recently and we were getting along so well, he asked me about my plans for the future and I said "to hopefully be married" I also said that it's not just a plan but a fantasy since it is unrealistic. And he just started to get real nasty towards me, giving me questions I don't like, I told him that marriage in a relationship is optional and that it's loyalty that counts, but then he started to get defensive saying that loyalty isn't real and that's fake. This broke my heart because my parents are both in their 50s and they have both been together since they were 13 and I looked up at them. He told me that he had issues and that he couldn't be in a relationship with me because he always self sabotaged himself, I just had enough and told him that the whole world doesn't revolve around him and that I also have a lot of issues but I at least give people chances, told him that there are people who go through way worse that includes myself, he started to get bratty because he has a "disability" ps having a disability gives you a right to be a d*ck. So I blocked him.

It's just so difficult to find someone who actually cares.