Accepting conditional help from family or do it my way but cut all ties

Okay, here’s a story. I’m 26F, from a good family where everyone is either in academia or running a business.

I was given everything growing up except emotional support or actual choice. My mom controlled everything: my hair, clothes, who I talked to, what and where I studied.

I’ve been living on my own for years, including after my fiancé died in 2021. I never really felt supported by my family. A year after his death my mom literally asked why I wasn’t over it yet.

I went through a very bad depressive period, had a couple of attempts, and accumulated debt. I’m not proud of it.
This year I got a dog for emotional support and companionship. My mom completely lost it and told me I wasn’t her daughter anymore because I didn’t listen to her.

Then my finances got worse due to temporary work problems and I couldn’t afford rent anymore.

She called saying “come home, we’ll help you, even financially,” and for the first time I thought: wow, finally support.

My plan was simple: move home for 6–8 months, keep working and pay off my debt.

But no.

Her actual plan is to pay my debt herself, force me into a master’s, make me emigrate, leave a career that is finally going well, leave my friends, give up my dog, and basically go back to doing everything she says, including how I dress, who I talk to and how much I weigh.
If I don’t agree, I basically can’t come home.

And yes, objectively, getting my debt paid and doing a master’s sounds like a great opportunity. But it doesn’t feel like help. It feels conditional and controlling.

I still have another option: rent somewhere cheaper, switch to remote work and pay the debt off myself.

I’m leaning toward that, but I’m honestly terrified of telling her no because every conversation with her ends with me hysterical and crying and I probably will have to cut ties though I love her a lot :((((