Anyone actually solved independent font/zoom for cover vs inner screen on the Fold 8? (One UI 9)

Coming from iPhone after 10+ years, got the Z Fold 8, mostly loving it but this one thing is driving me nuts and I can't find a real fix.

Basically I can't get both screens to look "right" at the same time. Cover screen ok = inner screen everything's huge. Inner screen ok = cover screen text is tiny. Every combo I try is a trade-off.

Things I tried that DON'T work, in case it saves someone else the time:

Bixby routines — only touches font size, not zoom, and you have to manually turn the screen off/on after folding for it to even apply. Not usable.

Dev options minimum width — I set this while folded assuming it'd only hit the cover screen. It didn't. Did the math after and it scaled both screens by the exact same %, just looked different because the two screens start at different base density. So no, this isn't a per-screen setting.

App Screen Zoom in Labs (new One UI 9 thing) — figured this might actually be per-display since it's per-app. Nope, set it on one screen, checked the other, same zoom carried over.

Kind of baffled this is still a thing this many Fold generations in. Anyone found something I'm missing?