Struggling with being a late bloomer

I’m 24 but I might as well be 14. I’m a virgin, never had a boyfriend, never even had a first kiss. I’m socially awkward and have no friends. I’m out to myself but not out to my family. They’re conservative and religious, I fear their reaction if they find out.

Of course I yearn to meet other folks like me, have a boyfriend, have sex. Yet there’s so much uncertainty preventing me from doing stuff. Like I wanna be my free gay self but I’m scared my family will find out. Is it even possible to live a gay life while hiding it from them? Even with sex there’s concerns. Like should I be on prep before having any sex, even just for giving oral? Should I experiment on a dildo before trying the real thing?

I know some of these things I can just google online, but I just wanted to get answers from other people, and also just to see if anyone is in/has been in similar situations.