Another Emophilia post ... forgive me

Hi, Since reading about Emophilia, I had an experience today where it really hit home. I wanted to share.

I have early onset Glaucoma, so I have to go to my eye doctor once every 3-4 months to monitor it and make sure it does not progress. The nurse assistant I had today is a woman I used to work with (she used to work for my employer) so she has known me for a while. She is a little younger than me, but in the same age range. She kept calling me honey and reaching out to touch my shoulder or my arm, and once my back while I was getting the tests done. I instantly got a shot of oxytosin with her every touch, and I had this huge internal struggle to keep myself from touching her back ... I really wanted to, but my logical brain told me she was not really interested in me "that way" .... still .... I wanted to

I still do, and am still thinking about it. Going to have to drown out those thoughts with other thoughts now. Ugh, I hate feeling this way some days, but the hormonal gratification I get from it is just too good to not experience. It is like when someone touches me without me asking them to, it lights up my whole brain.