I take medication that requires me to not take caffeine or alcohol and I still drink caffeine and alcohol because I like the feeling.

I'll say the med is 50mg elvanse which usually has fine side effects that I can tolerate but they're made worse by caffeine and alcohol. Is it bad to say I like taking it and pretending to forget so someone looks after me? Idk if this is a bad thing to admit, obviously there will be worse out there but I love being cared for. I like worrying people and the attention I get from being helped with things. Sure the side effects aren't bad really (just kinda anxiety and jittery and my heart goes berserk) but I really like it when people are worrying about me. I hate it and I love it too sometimes. I hate it because people might tell doctors but I love the feeling of anyone just being there to make sure I feel better. Idk why I felt I needed to confess this but it feels better than keeping it in.