How do you plan (not schedule) sex?

My wife (F39) and I (M38) schedule sex. It works great for us because we have two young kids and if we didn't set aside time it wouldn't happen near as often as it does. But because we have two young kids, most of the time we're having to do it within 30 minutes, and so we've got into, I guess you could call it a 'default script'. Script works great, it hits all the beats, there's rising action, a great climax, then the credits roll and the kids start yelling.

I (M39) find however that when we actually have time alone, either on vacation or when our parents have the kids, that it's hard to get out of that script. We'll get to work and we kind of just fall into what we know works. I'll fantasize about what we can do at an upcoming opportunity and get excited and when it's go time my ADD brain will kind of think of everything all at once where I get overwhelmed with possibilities and so I guess I default to the script and we end up doing our regular routine.

First off, yes, this is something to directly talk to my wife about, I'm just trying to organize my thoughts and maybe get some tips so that when I bring it up I know what I want to say.

How do those who plan it do that? Do you do it with your partner or if you're usually the dominate one do you have different scripts in your head to run? Do you stay with the plan pretty rigidly or does it help to just get started with the plan then go with the flow?

We have a birthday trip coming up and I think we'd both enjoy breaking out of the box a little bit.