I hate myself and my life

I'm a mild to moderate autistic teen and I hate myself.

I'm pathetic. I play colorful kids games like sonic and rayman, I watch stupid weeb shows like JoJo and super sentai, and I'm a fat fuck.

I should be doing better things like getting good grades or doing fun school activities but no, I'm an antisocial chud instead.

I tried doing productive things like video editing and learning game development, but as soon as I booted up an app and saw its blank canvas, I got lazy and quit.

The only productive thing I do is write screenplay stories on Google docs, and recently I've been getting burnout from that and I lost my creative energy.

I can't even have fun playing the games that made me so excited anymore.

I can't even talk about things I like to people because in my mind I can hear them laughing at me behind my back.

I lost almost all of my friends because of a gross incident that I still regret to this day.

I've been so desensitized by piracy that I can't look forward to an upcoming game I like because I know it will be expensive and that I need to steal it if I wanna play it.

Everything is expensive

I'm antisocial with almost zero friends

I hate myself

And I'm pretty sure the whole world hates me too and wants me to drop dead.

Fuck my life.