My love for you started as a long gaze towards all of you but will end in a final letter for you as a goodbye

You will never come across me ever again, at least in this lifetime, and I know this because it’s a trade-off that I have to pay, so as long as I think of you, you will never see me again. It’s truly a curse when It’s what I truly want versus the universe’s timing, it would just never work out. As I’m writing this letter, my whole being screams of you, to be with you; my heart beating as I write about you, my feet eager to come to your house and say with my mouth out loud, “I will take care of you”, but right now, between you and me, I have this kind of poison that’s inside my body, and every second it ticks, and it ticks me really bad, that it pushes me away from your life, just so I could never pass it onto yours. And I’m unconditionally okay with that, because like every man in the world would’ve wanted, is to see their girl happy more than anything. If I say I loved you, I would stand on the top of the Mount Everest and still say, “You are worth it”. You are worth it. Because you “are” worth it. And now, in every day, in every week, in every month, in every year that passes by, please! And I mean please, it is your turn now to say that to yourself. Because every time you think lowly of yourself, I would catch your value and raise them above your head. And may death take away my body but not my arms, or my hands, just to hold you high. No one could ever replace someone like you coming into my life. Pretty crazy coming from a guy who’s never had an official relationship before. This letter really is about you, because you turned me around, from ‘someone who hates being accepted so he rejected everything that comes in his way’, to ‘the guy who still has hopes for someone to come in his way’. You are the reason I was able to open up to one of our talks with one of our friends. We, being completely opposites, you as an extrovert and me as an introvert, you did get me out of my own circle into your life. I love the way that you have glasses, I love that you have braces to make your smile shine than a billion suns combined, I love your short hair, or long it doesn’t really matter, I love the smell of your perfume that outdoes all the roses gathered in a bouquet, I love the way you are, short-tempered but really friendly, how you really have a laugh so contagious that you have reached my grumpy nonchalant attitude, you have always managed to make me smile, that stress is not in my dictionary anymore. As I sit here racking my brains out why you were so awesome, it’s because I love you, that’s the only answer my heart whispers when It hears your name. But now, in the present moment, that was just a past.
No!, that was not just any past that anybody can just get a lesson from and use it for themselves, I mean as though that was my past but with you. And if ever time traveling does exist, I would not change my encounter with you just because of a ‘Monty Hall Problem’, or that exists to prevent the downfall of humanity, I love you because you were enough reason for me to get out of my house, leaving everything I hold behind, just to be with you. I would do everything for you. But it seems like we were not like pages in the same book, leaves from the same tree, rivers from the same ocean, and stars from the same universe. I love you. God, I wish the universe would agree. Last interaction was a message on a phone, you turning me down, but I said okay, isn’t it just like my last rejection. Deep down, was I okay?, she’s leaving, and you’re not gonna do anything about that, I thought you’d die for her, but it seems like she wants to die for someone else, at least that’s what signal I was getting, and you’re telling me you’re okay with that?.
In my country, this is normal, tradition even, but why do I need to address this?. Is it because every night within five seconds of silence, she would immediately pop into your head, or were you disillusioned by the frequent dreams that happened when you were asleep where you were happy by her side when in reality, it is your soul’s last call for genuine love from her and really not the universe telling you that you were perfect for each other.

If you are out there happy, never will the universe make you read this and knows that this is me because math already interprets that language of the probability of you finding this. And If you were truly happy, I wish you more of the best, only for you, doesn’t matter if you already found someone worth sharing your happiness, or you have achieved something impossible you never thought would happen, just know that I already hand over your value to the Highest, so that you can be happy without me. I love you, and this kind soul will never ever forget you for as long as this average human body will live in years.