OCD fear of calling to be a nun

I’ve seen a few posts in here after searching of people who struggle with religious vocation and OCD and I needed to make one myself cause I’m looking for support. It all started cause I had a bad dating experience and my mom made a joke about maybe I should be a nun, she wasn’t serious, but my brain latched on and I’ve been thinking about it 24/7 since with paralyzing fear. I have never wanted to be a nun, I’ve always, always dreamt of being a wife and mother. Most of my days were spent daydreaming about finding love and now it feels like it’s been taken for me and I somehow have to accept being a nun instead. It started as me feeling like I was forced against my will, but I was able to talk myself out of that by saying God doesn’t force us to do what we don’t want to do and I felt relieved, but then my brain switched and now I’m terrified I actually want to be one. Sure there are things that sound appealing, but any time I have a positive thought about it makes me depressed and I panic and a have such a desperation to go back before I started thinking this. What I want is to back to my life, I feel so disconnected from people and things around me and I just want to enjoy things again but my brain says you can’t enjoy anything unless you’re a nun. Sigh this sounds so insane I know, but it’s what’s happening in my brain. I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice