I have been living in the US for a little over five years. My wife and I both have PhDs in STEM, we have good jobs, and financially we are doing reasonably well. We can afford our house and car mortgages, have meaningful retirement savings and investments, and, objectively speaking, we have built a pretty comfortable life here.

And yet, I get this feeling almost every week that I want to move back to India.

What is strange is that this feeling has been getting stronger with time, not weaker.

The recent immigration struggles in the US have definitely added fuel to it, but I don't think immigration is the root cause. Even if someone guaranteed me a green card tomorrow, I am not sure this feeling would completely disappear.

My wife is completely against moving back. I understand her concerns and I respect her position. She is worried about many of the things that make life difficult in India—hate crimes, sexual harassment and safety concerns for women, the mentality toward women that still exists in many parts of Indian society, corruption, bureaucracy, and the general dysfunction of the system.

Our backgrounds are also very different. I grew up in a very underdeveloped village in India, while she grew up in one of India's major metropolitan cities.

I have a somewhat unusual feeling of responsibility toward the country I came from. Growing up, many people helped me along the way. I received government fellowships during my master's studies, and I was able to educate myself largely through my own efforts and scholarships/fellowships. From around class 9 onward, I took responsibility for my educational expenses until I started receiving fellowships.

Because of that, I sometimes feel a moral obligation to give something back.

I have been increasingly thinking about eventually settling somewhere in a village in Northeast India, living close to nature, teaching children, and trying to improve the lives of a small number of people.

I don't have some grand ambition of changing India.

Honestly, I would consider my life well spent if I could meaningfully improve the life of even one family.

I strongly believe that education can transform a family, then a village, and eventually contribute to transforming a country.

I know this sounds a little like Rancho from 3 Idiots, and maybe it is. 😅 But this is genuinely how I feel.

We are also expecting our first child later this year, which obviously makes the decision much more complicated. I don't want to make a romanticized decision about India while ignoring the practical realities of raising a child, career opportunities, healthcare, safety, financial stability, and my wife's wishes.

So I am trying to understand myself better.

Am I going through some kind of phase that will eventually pass?

Or is this the kind of feeling that tends to become stronger as people spend more time away from their home country?

For those who have lived abroad for 5–15+ years, especially people who grew up in relatively modest circumstances and later became financially comfortable abroad:

• Have you ever felt a strong urge to go back despite having a good life abroad?
• Did that feeling eventually disappear, or did it become stronger?
• Did anyone actually move back and later regret it—or feel that it was absolutely the right decision?
• How did your spouse/partner factor into the decision when you had very different views?
• And if you moved back, how did you reconcile the idealistic vision you had before returning with the realities of everyday life in India?

I am genuinely looking for perspectives from people who have experienced something similar, rather than a US-vs-India argument.

And before anyone assumes that I am simply trying to "escape" because I don't see a path to a green card: I am not afraid of struggle. Struggle has been a major part of my life, and honestly, I have never been afraid of it. I am proud of the fact that I supported my education from a young age and worked my way forward.

So this isn't really about whether life would be easier in India.

I am more interested in understanding what makes a life feel meaningful and whether this desire to return is something I should take seriously—or simply let time and life experience work through.