FTM researching pregnancy/post-partum feelings for new film. Would love to hear your experiences.

Hi there! I am currently 17 weeks pregnant with my first. The experience has been really hard for me - and kind of trippy. I find myself doomscrolling through horrifying birth stories, or watching tons and tons of birth registry videos that all contradict each other. It gave me an idea for a movie, and I wanted to do some real research to see if I am the only feeling this, or there is a collective feeling. I genuinely want to hear from people who've been through it.

A few things I'd love to hear about, but honestly anything you want to share helps:

• Did you ever feel rage during pregnancy or postpartum that surprised you? What set it off? Did this manifest in actual rage or in dreams/nightmares/visions?
• Did being on social media and watching birth stories, registry content, mommy influencers, trad mom content ever make things feel worse instead of better?
• Did you ever feel like your OB appointments moved too fast, like you couldn't keep track of what was said or ask what you actually wanted to ask? Did you feel overwhelmed by the whole medical intervention/jargon around pregnancy, like you were always playing catch up?
• Have you ever looked into or stayed at a postpartum retreat, doula collective, or something like a 40 day confinement practice? What was that like, good or bad?
• Have you ever felt pressured to have a natural birth and use non-Western/non medical traditional practices to have your baby? If you weren't pressured and wanted this, did you get judged?
• Did you ever feel judged by other moms, in person, over something seemingly small? A stroller, feeding choice, being a single mom, etc.

Thank you all so much. Just to be clear, I won't quote anyone directly or use anything identifying, this is purely anonymous and to be used as inspiration to help me get the emotional truth of the writing.