My mom has always been this way my entire life and I told her to stop talking to me for a few weeks bc of this, so I've been mostly at peace since. Who else grew up with the highly emotionally unstable mom x enabler/passive dad combo? lol

Context: She got mad bc I told her that buying a new house doesn't mean it will be clean (currently we live in a very very cluttered household) and it triggered her bad enough to start name-calling and crashing out on me. She's been a SAHM since I was born (Mid-20s eldest Asian biological daughter) and contributes nothing to keep the house clean, meanwhile I wash my dishes right after I use them, I do my own laundry, and also keep my bedroom clean bc that is the space I stay in most of the time. I used to also clean the bathrooms and stopped bc it would just get gross and dirty again and I was tired of being the only person to deep clean. 

As for the "physically attacking me in the hospital" part, I was groomed by a pedophile over Discord when I was younger (I'm currently in a very healthy relationship of 2+ years with a partner close to my age) and he told me to go hospitalize myself or he'd leave me and my mom lunged at me while my dad held her back so I assume she was going to physically hurt me while I was having a meltdown bc I had basically developed Stockholm Syndrome towards my abuser. Due to being emotionally neglected as a child and also verbally/emotionally abused by my mom, I sought out validation for my feelings online when I was young and it took a lot of effort over the past some odd years to forgive myself for being so gullible and immature. I didn't know any better. Unfortunately, I developed CPTSD + (now mild) BPD and although my symptoms have gradually decreased, I still deal with chronic nightmares regarding past traumatic situations, but I put in a conscious effort to not let these mental illnesses affect me or others I care about.

As for the "blame the drugs" part, my parents have been raving since the 90s and indulge in "party favors" every single weekend and I'm very concerned that this constant usage has been frying their brains and have tried to bring up these concerns, but she just tells me I don't know any better and that bc I'm on sleeping medication (that I've never abused, only take at night to sleep), that it's the same as being addicted to party substances. I've told them many times to chill on the substance usage bc it makes her, specifically, lash out at me, my dad, and my siblings far more than normal. I also don't want to have to deal with taking care of them when they're older if their brains have turned into mush. I'd like them to be at least somewhat healthy when they get old. (Currently in their early 50s) I've also partaken in these substances before and have lessened my usage a LOT (1-2x a year) bc I don't want it to become a problem for future me. I am a strong advocate for safe substance usage, having seen my friends and clients at work struggle with these issues.

My long-term goal is to eventually move out and in with my partner, although we are only a short 1.5 hour distance apart, we live in different countries, so that is my main reason for not having moved out yet. (Plus renting is expensive!) Home is tolerable enough for me as long as I mostly keep to myself. Anyways, if you've read this far, thank you, I really just posted this to vent. It's better for me to laugh at my problems anyways than let it get to me and bring me down!!

I love my mom lol