The fundamentalists who long for Gnosis

Regarded as a "heresy", I have begun to see the seeds of Gnosis everywhere. There's the obvious signs of a longing for Gnosis in new age thinking, but also, going back to my childhood, attending a fundamentalist school, it has become clear to me that a lot of the adults in that institution either had a kind of Gnostic perspective, or they longed for the experience of Gnosis.

I distinctly remember a teacher leading a class trip to go for a hike in the mountains saying, "On this trip, you will understand why the Bible tells us, "It is the fool who has said in his heart that there is no god."

Growing up in that institution, I was told two things that seemed diametrically opposed: first, that I must have faith to be saved, but second, that I can be certain because it is obvious that God exists and the Bible is his word and Jesus is our savior.

I remember being told all about how faith will "transform" me and how I can "know" all these things about the truth, even that God himself has "written his law on my heart".

It's wild. I was told over and over that I can know.

I was told by the adults, "There is no doubt in my mind."

Years later, I actually reconnected with one of my schoolmates who told me that just like me, he suspected that most of these people were role-playing their certainty and that when the adults said, "I have no doubt in my mind and I know the Jesus is Lord and it gives me peace", they were thinking, "Oh, how I wish I had no doubt and how I wish I knew and how I wish I had peace."

And yet, the people who said, "Why yes, you can know, and you don't need any institution" were never once mentioned, except possibly in passing as dangerous heretics who would lead me away from the same god that they claimed to "know"