The moments I realised I was an ugly woman

I just found this sub and this has genuinely become such a safe space for me now. I wanna share the 3 moments in my life where I realised I was an ugly woman/girl.

1. I had a crush on a guy in my secondary/high school and I wanted to find his instagram. I found someone with the same name and messaged them asking if they were the guy at my school. He said no but continued to initiate conversations with me. He asked for a face reveal and he said he’d do one if I did one. I sent my face and then he went silent and blocked me after 5 minutes or so.

2. Nearing the end of primary/elementary, somebody made a group chat and I somehow got added. I had a photo of myself as my whatsapp profile picture with makeup on. I didn’t even interact on the groupchat, I wasn’t active on whatsapp at all and yet somebody still screenshotted my profile picture and sent it to the gc asking “is this a man or a woman?”

3. I made a guy friend at 17 after limiting my interactions with men (because they were often either rude or extremely perverted). He told me about how he had sent so many girls DMs hoping to get into a relationship with one of them and that his instagram inbox was full of girls. I said “I don’t wanna be one of the girls you talk to”. I didn’t even mean it in the romantic sense, I meant it in the ‘I don’t want people to see me in your DMs and think I have something going on with you’ sense. He misinterpreted it and then went “You’re not, you’re ugly” and then tried to brush it off by clarifying that I’m not ugly but I wasn’t his type. As if the impact hadn’t already been made.

There’s also other general things. Like never being catcalled, never been asked out, never been approached even by a creepy old man. I wonder how abhorrent I must look if not even a creepy old man is approaching me.

These situations have kept me up at night btw.