I can’t stand being around my MIL anymore, and I hate feeling this much resentment

I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or if there’s something I need to work through because I genuinely feel like I have this rage and resentment toward my MIL that I can’t seem to shake.
I really want to have a relationship with her. I’m not trying to hate her, and honestly, I’m trying my best because I know having a good relationship between us would make my husband really happy, even though he would never admit that. He doesn’t care whether she likes me or not, but I do. I want us to get along. I want to be able to be around her without leaving angry.
The problem is that I just can’t seem to get there.
One thing that really gets to me is how often she comments on women’s skin color. It’s constantly something about “light skin” this or “dark skin” that. She doesn’t direct these comments at me specifically, and I know she probably doesn’t realize how some of the things she says come across, but I am darker-toned, so hearing it repeatedly really gets under my skin.
It brings out insecurities, but more than anything, it makes me angry.
She’s also very opinionated and seems to have something to say about everyone. Again, most of the time these comments aren’t even about me, but I find myself sitting there getting more and more irritated. I leave these interactions angry over what are technically just little comments that she probably thinks nothing of.
And that’s the part I’m struggling with. I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to sit around analyzing everything she says or feeling rage every time I have to spend time with her. I try to reset my perspective, tell myself that maybe she genuinely doesn’t mean anything by it, and remind myself that she’s my husband’s mom.
But somehow I always revert back to resentment.
I feel selfish because I genuinely want a relationship with her, but at the same time, I can’t stand being around her for very long without feeling emotionally exhausted and angry.
How do I manage this hate/resentment inside me? Do I need to change my perspective, create more emotional distance, stop trying so hard, or something else?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have had similar feelings toward their MIL and were eventually able to get to a healthier place with them. I don’t necessarily need to love her—I just want to stop carrying this much anger.