My house mate is self destructing and in the process me too.

Hello there! And hi Charlotte if you see this! Love you 🫶🏻

In my house we have me (M24), my partner (F25) and my housemate (F26). We will call her Ana.

Ana for years has struggled with her mental health and adhd. And for many years all her friends have told her she needs to go to the doctors. She won’t, refuses to and I won’t force her. This in turn affects the state of her living space. Now on to the subject at hand.

Since she’s moved in which was about a year and a half ago, she’s constantly leaving stuff around the house. Not picking up after herself using our plates and not bringing them back up from her room (she has a basement room) until I’ve asked 3 times due to us not having plates. Then I end up cleaning them cuz they sit on the side for ages. And her room is a STATE. I’m talking fungus that’s starting growing on the hall wall, mould in the bedroom window and rubbish, plates and clothes everywhere. She blames all this on her depression and ADHD all the time. I get having depressive states and depression pits, but if it’s like that for a year and a half then you need to go to the doctor or a therapist.

I don’t know how to talk to her about it all. I’m contently fixing all her problems and sorting the house out with my partner (apart from her room). And I have 2 disabilities, raging ADHD and depression (which I’m medicated for). I think she doesn’t go to the doctors because then there isn’t an excuse for how she is as a housemate.

I’m always picking up after her and I feel like a parent to a girl that’s older than me and that I called my best friend. I’m now struggling to keep myself afloat with the constant pain that no meds can handle.

I’m at a loss here please help. I’m writing out a cleaning/tiding rota. But my fear is this is a rented property and her room and hall and bathroom looks the way it does, and it’s not healthy to live that way. Tell me if I’m being stupid… thank you for listening.