I’m trying to save money for college, but I keep wasting or losing it and I feel terrible about it

Recently, I’ve been wasting a lot of money, and I feel really guilty about it. My father is in the BSF, he’s over 40, and he works really hard. He walks 8–9 km every day just to get to his office and works extremely hard to support us.

Meanwhile, I wasted my 11th and 12th and messed up badly in JEE. I still managed to get decent marks in my boards, but I couldn’t get into a government college. Fortunately, I got some scholarships based on my board and JEE Main results, so my total college fees for 4 years will be around ₹8 lakh.

I know that’s a lot of money, which is why I’ve been trying to save as much as I can. I used to eat a ₹30 sandwich every day for lunch and sometimes even save my breakfast for lunch to avoid spending extra money.

But recently, I lost ₹700. I had it in my pocket while I was traveling on the metro, and when I reached my hostel, I realized it was gone. I honestly have no idea when or how I lost it.

It might not sound like a huge amount to some people, but it really bothers me because I’m genuinely trying to save money. I don’t want to become a financial burden or another headache for my parents. I just feel terrible knowing how hard my father works while I keep making stupid mistakes like this.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.