In pain and idk what to do about it

For the first time in many many years, I allowed myself to develop serious feelings for somebody. This man pursued me from the start, calling or texting me at some point nearly every day for the last 3 months. Took me on incredible dates, always paid (though i did offer a few times). CEO, super successful, divorced and father of 4 (He was 43 and I am 31). Highly involved with his kids. Always busy but made so much effort for me. Asked ME about exclusivity. Down to earth despite his level of wealth, same sense of humor. Spoke about me eventually meeting his kids (neither of us quite ready for that). We had sleepovers. He'd light candles, make me breakfast. Did all the things you name it.

2 weeks ago we had the best time together we've had so far. Spent all day and night together. It was followed by an amazing phone conversation a couple days later, right before he went away for work for a few days.

He contacted me while on his work trip once a day as usual. Then he gets back from the work trip and goes silent. His kids all come back from summer camps (gone pretty much all summer). and I guess reality sets in? He calls me the following week apologizng for disappearing and then also tells me he tends to get avoidant when he really likes someone and feels himself getting attached to me. And then tells me hes not ready for next steps/relationship. Meanwhile he was the one pushing the entire time and I Was the one telling him let's take it slow, no pressure.

After several examples of this, he agreed and admitted he needs to process this as he felt he projected his past dating experiences on to me. They were full of pressure by this time and asking him where it was going. I had no intention of doing that.

He told me we'd speak when he gets back from his OTHER work trip he was about to go on, and has not reached out since. He's been back for 6 days now and nothing. Not a text, not a call. I am so sad and confused. Am I being ghosted? Is he still processing? Will I ever hear from him again? How can we spend all that time together, have conversations, be so intimate and somebody just flips and forgets about you?

I am so heartbroken. and I sadly feel like I will never find better than him. No amount of talking to friends, ChatGPT or my therapist seems to be helping me. I feel like such a loser.