Is impulsivity a non-negotiable criterion for ADHD?

I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for 7-8 years now. But I don't believe that I have depression or an anxiety disorder because, for me, these two conditions exist because I don't do what I'm supposed to do: submit assignments, look for jobs, bathe, brush my teeth, and the list goes on.

So I went to a different psychiatrist two days ago. He advised me to get an ADHD assessment. He asked me some questions. I could relate to some, like forgetfulness, running late, and concentration problems, etc. But he asked me whether I was impulsive and had anger issues. I don't have them. Now that I'm learning about ADHD, I hear that impulsivity is an important criterion. So I'm second-guessing.

Also, I'm not forgetful, nor do I have concentration problems. It's just that my brain won't stop talking, so I'm parallelly engaging in two activities, which results in memory and concentration issues.

Now regarding impulsivity: I don't buy things impulsively. I don't buy things at all. My mom forces me to buy things, and at times she buys them herself so that I will have things to function. I'm that frugal.

Some things that I can think of that remotely resemble impulsivity would be spending money on junk food on top of what I have at home when I'm anxious. I did quit my part-time online job as a content writer abruptly. I was just so behind on deadlines because I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I stopped taking their calls. I know that was so bad, and I'm ashamed of it. ( I'm assuming that was not impulsive I had a reason. I was failing)

Another instance would be dropping out of college because, again, I couldn't keep up. After dropping out, one day I woke up and decided I'm going to try law. I have no clue why I decided on law. (Again I dropped out because of the executive dysfunction and I have no choice other than enroll in another course. I'm asian)

Anyways, it has been 10 months since I graduated. I applied for only 1 job in 10 months. I'm a lost cause at this point.

Now, anger: I don't see myself as an angry person. I don't lash out at people. When I get angry, I go silent. That's it. But I do get frustrated really quickly. For example, if I'm trying to open something and it doesn't open, then I might be guilty of growling or slamming it 🫣. But I don't do that around people.

I'm sorry. I was just rambling. My biggest problem is my inability to initiate things and stay on track. What does impulsivity look like other than shopping, cutting lines, or finishing other people's sentences?