DSN

DSN,

I still miss you more than I can express in words. It comes and goes, sometimes I can even think about other things and laugh and be happy. But then it returns. The deep sadness, the longing, the bone deep wishing that things were different. But that is the source of all pain, right? Attachment, and wanting things to be different than they are.

I was so sure, so certain about you… despite it all. More recent events made me accept that staying in it and trying harder isn’t the answer. If ever we are to have what we wanted a major shift must happen. Something cataclysmic. So I keep my head down and focus on the things I can control. You were never and will never be one of those things.

I pray you’re okay. I pray you’re finding some self compassion. I pray you find a way to slay your demons and set yourself free, on a path that will bring you peace and happiness. I pray that in turn brings you back with courage, clarity, genuine remorse and an internally driven desire to make amends for all the destruction.

And so it is. 🥀🖤