I'm new to Tantra. But I feel extremely drawn to this entire thing idk why. And I want to start with tantric practices and scriptures, can anyone help?

Actually I am probably an atheist, but lately there have been some circumstances where I encountered certain areas related to tantra. While searching i found two people on youtube, rajarshi nandi and adisuyash. Both talk about tantra. But both seem quite different. I am a bit confused. And both advice completely differently. What should I do?

Besides I am scared that what if things go wrong if i begin reading tantric scriptures myself without a guru? And even tantric practices.

Also if I at all do, begin with, what should I begin with? Please help...!