Struggling to delete Instagram for good (rant)

hey everyone,

so i know this post will sound similar to others in this sub but i just wanted to express myself and vent in case anyone feels the same way i do. i've been fighting a mental war of wanting to delete instagram for good, and i mean, be done with social media forever. i still have my account active, but i oscillate between deleting the app and re-installing it OVER and over because i feel like im missing out on things or just want to check if anyone dm'd me. tbh, real friends know how to get ahold me and if they want to reach out, they will.

so far, i eliminated facebook, snapchat, tiktok, but instagram seems to be the only app im having a difficult time getting rid of. for context, im a 25f and i used to post so many stories of me and my friends, pics of food and drinks, but over the years... i started to realize how very superficial and performative it felt. i cringe at myself posting these kind of things. i felt like i was trying to show others that i am also living life and everything is perfect. but in reality, no. ive been dealing with grief and loss recently, and i learned that nothing truly matters. everything is temporary and i want to be present and live in the moment instead of living for pics and how it will look on my story. instagram is so toxic and boring, the app is infiltrated with ads, influencers, and AI content that it drives me crazy. like, all of my followers are people i went to high school with, old coworkers from previous jobs, random acquaintance i met at parties, and to this day, i barely talk to any them, i only know what is up in their lives by checking their stories and posts. the connection does not feel genuine these days. plus, i find myself constantly doomscrolling and comparing myself to others, and being consumed by others lives feels EXHAUSTING and sad. i do not want to live like this anymore. instagram does not care about your wellbeing, it only cares about your attention and consumption.

so, if you are like me, and if you successfully deleted social media, what was your experience and what made you do it ? and how are you spending your time now ? if you got this far reading, thank you for listening