In the infamous question that goes "who do you put first your spouse or kids?" Why is kids over spouse worse than spouse over kids?

The argument I see for this is that if you prioritize your kid over your spouse then you will neglect your spouse and the kids will be allowed to disrespect your spouse ect and they will be spoiled but I don't understand how putting ur kids first means all that

But when if you go spouse then kids, it doesn't mean in this case that you will be neglecting your kids or your let your partner abuse them or disrespect them, no no, it means you are helping your children realize what a health relationship is

But what I don't understand is that you can put ur kids first and still show a good example of a good house and home, but a lot of the crowd that says "spouse over kids" also say psychotic shit like "if my kids die I can make new kids with my spouse" which is insane imo