35M married to 39F who turned out to be much older, lots happened and now I don’t know to stay or go

This is a long one, but please do bear with me! I’m a 35m who has been married for c. 7 years to my wife, who grew up in a third world country.

Around 18 months ago, I discovered that my wife is actually significantly older than she said she was. Before immigrating to where we are (EU country), she had “paid” an official in her home country to reissue official documents with a younger birth date so whilst I had married her thinking she was 4 years older than me, she is actually 11 years older than me.

This is something she never said to me before we got married or even whilst we have been married. As such, I built up quite strong feelings of betrayal, resentment and humiliation as I felt I had been conned, especially as we had been trying for kids and were wondering why nothing was happening - I didn’t communicate this and just let it build up which led to me having a short affair (no sex, but had dates & kissed someone else). I have no hesitation in condemning my own actions, accept that I chose to have an affair and recognise how wrong that was - I’ve gone to therapy, changed my own behaviours and massively also improved my emotional communication skills

My wife and I have since reconciled and have been back together, including going to couples therapy which has been super helpful. Despite this, I find that when I look at/think of my wife, it’s emotions like duty, responsibility & care which I feel, not love, passion or desire.

We’ve built a very comfortable life together and part of my fear around separation is that I’d lose almost everything and have to start again which would be excruciating, especially as I have a chronic health condition which means I likely have 10-12 years where I can maintain a high paying, intensive job before I either retire or drop back to something part-time & of low intensity.

I feel trapped and am currently coping by taking up new sports, starting a language course and working more

Is our marriage completely screwed or is there hope/a way to fix things?