Feeling too terrified to go in for much needed oral surgery

Title. For background im 21f, I’ve grown up collecting terrible encounters with professionals that deal with your teeth. When I was 5 I had multiple teeth extracted without anesthesia, at 15 I had someone mess up during a root canal. I won’t list every terrible thing that’s happened but it’s been enough to where I have a deep sense to run away when I’m faced with having to book my appointment again.

I went into a dentists office for an emergency check up; they got an X-ray, took one look at it and referred me to an oral surgeon. Their note specifically stated to look at my bottom right tooth; even she said that my top left tooth is fine to leave alone. The bottom right tooth is horizontally impacted. Day of the appointment arrives; I actually go in. Almost ran out before they called my name but they beat me to it. I go in, sit and wait, and the surgeon walks in. First thing he says, before even addressing the problem tooth, is the top left tooth won’t be an issue to remove at all, “you won’t even feel we were there”. I reminded him im only here for what was on the referral, his eyebrows shoot up and he says okay. Says that he would note down that his professional recommendation was to remove both and that I refused. When asked why he wants the top left tooth removed, all he could say was that it’s hard to clean back there. That feels so bizarre to me. I understand this is a legitimate reason many oral surgeons use to remove all wisdom teeth; but I really feel it’s unnecessary. Appointment ends, and now I need to book my appointment to actually have the tooth removed.

My pre existing anxiety made the doctors attitude; albeit respectful, send up millions of alarms in my mind. I’m terrified of going under and having no one there to make sure im safe. I’m scared he might remove the other tooth anyways(irrational, im aware, but anxiety and rationality don’t usually go hand in hand). Anything can happen while im under. I’ve heard terrible stories of women being assaulted while under and I’ve also had horrible experiences with assault too so this doesn’t help at all.

All of this is leading me to ignoring my terrible jaw pain and not book the appointment. But it’s getting harder to chew. I can’t open my jaw without pain or clicking, and now even when my jaws closed the pains radiating to the left side of my jaw (wisdom tooth is on the right side).

TLDR: terrified of having another bad dental experience, so much so that I’d rather deal with the pain and consequences of leaving it than going in to have it removed. I understand leaving it can lead to terrible infection that can become life threatening but, going in for the surgery is giving me so much anxiety that the procedure itself feels life threatening, making me prefer the former option of waiting til it’s too late. Which im aware is stupid but I am at a point where I can’t reason with my own anxiety; it’s gotten a grip on my perception.