I had sex with a 29-year-old man just after turning 16. Did he take advantage of me?

im a 16 teenager **（**sorry my English is poor **），**im from China **，**i live in a very homophobic city. im a lonely gay boy and idont have friends

i used a ai translator to help me ：

This happened during my first psychiatric hospitalization. I had been admitted after taking an overdose because of severe depression. At school, I had been bullied, insulted, isolated, and constantly targeted because people suspected that I was gay.

At the time, I genuinely believed that I might die. I had never experienced sex or intimacy before, and I thought that I might never get the chance. That was the main reason I decided to meet him.

I met a 29-year-old man online. I had only just turned 16 at the time, and he knew my age. He also knew that I was in a psychiatric hospital and why I was there.

One night, I secretly met him, and we had sex in a hospital bathroom. The next night, I met him again. He took me to an unfinished building that he seemed to know well, and we had sex again.

He told me that it was his first time meeting someone for sex like that, but I don’t believe him now. He seemed very experienced, and he knew exactly where to take me. I never properly saw his face. He was 29 then, so he has probably turned 30 this year.

I later deleted the account we used to talk, so we have no contact now. I have also been tested and do not have an STI.

At the time, I believed that I wanted it, and I chose to meet him twice. That is part of why I keep blaming myself. But he was an adult, he knew that I had only just turned 16, and he knew that I was severely depressed and had just been hospitalized after an overdose. Now I keep wondering whether he lied to me and took advantage of how vulnerable I was.

I feel ashamed when I remember it, and I find it difficult to accept that I’m no longer a virgin. I usually try to block the memories completely.

I’m also extremely lonely now. I really want someone who understands me and accepts me, but finding that person feels almost impossible. I have even felt tempted to use Tinder

Did he take advantage of me even though I thought I wanted it and met him twice? How can I process this without blaming myself? And how can I deal with this loneliness without putting myself in danger again?

lastly**：**idont go to school right now