Reread of A Court of Wings & Ruin

I’m rereading the series in preparation of the newest book. I read the series the first time about 3 years and in that time I’ve come across so many odd takes and theories it had made me question if I had misread or misremember events from the books. On my reread I’ve realized that no things that happened in the book and things some of the fans haven’t taken from it are completely opposite.

My question is how are the tamlin lovers justifying his alliance with hybern. He is directly taking his generals to the holes in the wall so he can destroy it and enslave humans?
And everything that happened between rhysands family? I’ve seen a lot of excuses on how tamlin treated Feyre but nothing about these other events.