friendship don’t seem to work out for me

I’m 18F and i’ve been up and down over the years of having close friends and then suddenly i don’t. For starters i think i’m a pretty self aware person so i understand that when i’m not feeling good i do have a bit of an attitude but i dont think i’m mean to anyone on purpose ever. i really cherish friendships and they mean a lot to me. When i have bad feelings about certain friends i usually ignore it and think its just nothing but they always end up coming to me about problems they have with me. they either say that i have an attitude or that i say mean things without realising it. sometimes i do also gossip about other people (whom aren’t my friends). point is i dont know what i could do to be more socially aware as well because i always seem to be doing the wrong thing when it comes to friends.

like for example im in this group for a media class and at first i wasn’t sure about them because they weren’t really as happy to be there as i was and anytime i talked they’d be all silent so i thought i was just being awkward, plus they’d actively talk shit abt the group next to us (some were my friends) but it thankfully stopped later on. i thought we were all getting along fine till one of them messages me and says that they dont want me to work with them anymore because i missed one of the filming sessions, and that i also have a bad attitude. i always looked forward to class with them because it was always fun making jokes with them and just filming in general so it hurts really bad.

i just need help because I’m starting to see a pattern. At first i’m thinking maybe certain people i don’t mesh well with but now I’m starting to think if I’m the main issue in friendships?