I am feeling messed up and I dont know how to handle it

I got separated with my girlfriend a week ago, it wasnt an ugly breakup but it wasnt a good one either, we separated because it was getting suffocating, lives were changing for the both of us and I couldnt handle it. I am good at making people talk about their emotions, but I am terrible at doing that myself. It doesnt come out of me to share them, thinking I was good enough alone.

The problem arose when I told this to my friends. According to me, involving my friends too much into my relationship was a very big mistake, everything has gotten awkward with everyone around me.

I am not in a great mood nowadays, and this led to me fighting with one of my closest friends. So close that her and her boyfriend (who was my friend first) both dont talk to me anymore.

I am all alone, i am in a chokehold most of the day but I cant cry, the tears dont come out. I have been trying to busy myself in college and work but its just not enough. More than alone I feel extremely lonely. This is not a new feeling but when your friends stop talking to you, it gets really heavy on your chest. I always feel that I trouble or disturb them if I call or text so I choose to stay alone, but it has just been so so so so so tough.