so after my last post things actually felt amazing for a second. we had this beautiful phase for a whole month before she left. we were constantly listening to songs together, holding hands, taking a million pictures, and just living in the moment. i was so deeply into her.

then came the day she had to leave. she was traveling from pune to jaipur via mumbai. she had an 8 hour layover in mumbai and was supposed to meet a friend, but that friend completely ditched her. she called me panicking. even though it wasn't the weekend and i couldn't physically be there, i immediately booked a hostel for her so she'd be safe. she ended up missing her train, found another friend, stayed at a hotel, and finally made it to jaipur the next day.

the second she reached, i ordered breakfast to her house to comfort her. she texted me saying she was completely exhausted, running a high fever, coughing, and was going to sleep all day and night. i told her to rest and that i was here if she needed anything. i was literally planning this massive surprise for her, fireworks and everything, for when we met next.

then yesterday, my best friend came over. i was literally sitting there telling him how worried i was because she was so sick. he looked at me, pulled out his phone, and showed me her instagram story.

she had gone to see a movie with that guy k. and she had specifically hidden the story from me.

what hurts the most is that when she was in pune, i literally begged her to watch the new spider man movie with me. she always refused, saying she never watched marvel movies, didn't know the story, and didn't care about the characters. but she went with him. in the middle of the night. while telling me she was too sick to even stay awake.

i feel like an absolute idiot. i was sitting here playing the savior, booking her hostels, ordering her food, and planning surprises while she was actively hiding her life from me to go out with another guy.

all the surprise plans are canceled. i should have listened to the comments on my last post. it just hurts so bad to realize you were just a convenient safety net for someone who doesn't even have the respect to be honest with you

she went back and i just found out she's hiding her stories from me