Anyone else feels stuuupid because of this disorder?

I used to be a smart kid. I used to have a good head on my shoulders, I was witty and communicated well.

I feel like I’m growing dumber with the year. I’m 30 now, and I feel like I can’t access information like I once could. It’s been like this for years, but it just becomes worse and worse?

It’s like, people explain things and WHOOPS I didn’t get that because, well, I dissociated. Memory is like a black hole. Reading is like waking up from page 74 and not knowing what I just read. And then, what the hell is happening with words?? I can’t form basic sentences, or have basic conversations about topics without my brain freezing. Oh, and of course, I forgot all the years of learning opportunities wasted to surviving.

And then, the trigger when people call someone else stupid when they do something I would totally do. Anyone else? How does it manifest with you?