TRIGGER WARNING: Need Advice on DV & if this is something LD's teaching can help

TRIGGER WARNING: Below is a discussion regarding DV (my situation meets the legal definition). Please proceed accordingly.

I (44F) am a fan of Laura Doyle's teachings. I have been able to employ them through a multi-pronged approach, which includes DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), medication and the books and podcast episodes. As a result my husband (44M) and I have been doing well lately. I would say things have been steady, kind and respectful for about a year. Except for one area-the bedroom. Seemingly out of nowhere, two days ago he forced sex (including anal, which I have expressed I don't want to do very clearly but respectfully). For what it is worth, I make myself sexually available to my husband as I was brought up Catholic and I believe in wifely submission. I am personally fine with that arrangement. However, when it comes to this type of sex, it is a hard no. I am emotionally distraught as a result. I am being quiet because I feel deeply betrayed. This is not the first time this has happened, it has been going on a few years now (it was not a problem when we were married 15 years ago at all). I am trying to determine, giving my most earnest long term attempts to correct myself and stay on my paper (about one year in good faith) I need to face the music and recognize that this isn't about me anymore. I have been shaking because I don't feel safe in my own home. The devastatingly sad part about this is I do recognize and appreciate all the good things he does for me and our two kids-I say that out loud to him, but I truly think he is able to compartmentalize that separately with what he becomes during physical intimacy. Do I just need to try harder? I also wanted to say that after I sad (calmly) that I was sore and hurting he said "No one cares" and "This is good for you." I did not reply.

NOTE: I have a history of mental health issues including anxiety, depression and ADHD.