I feel as though my "dark night the soul" is on the horizon and I'm terrified.

I have been on a long spiritual journey. It even became too much for me and I shut everything out. The "shutting" has lead to a career I do not enjoy and a life that feels disconnected: my spirituality, how I present myself at work, to friends, to family...as I'm going through this awakening, I feel as though so many things have happened and I'm terrified it's going to get worse. I understand that my ego is trying to protect me through old habits/beliefs, that a stable job is what will make me happy. But I KNOW those things are not true at all, I will lose my fire if I continue down that path, but I see the illusion. I've adopted many new habits lately that have completely overhauled my old way of thinking. But I can't help but to notice my old life is slowly crumbling. Just this year my dog passed unexpectedly, 3 unexpected and extremely high bills have popped up, my car got totaled, and I'm starting to feel disconnected from everything. Now...I worry things are possibly going to "get worse" before I reach the other side. It feels so close yet so far. I can't help but ask myself...will my husband leave me? Will I struggle even more financially? Is this the beginning? Am I even going in the right direction? It feels so overwhelming and it's so tempted to "shut out" everything again.

What are some ways to get through this? Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated!