Wow...

firstly id like to apologize for not sending a good morning message and not being online today

soooo life stuff

firstly the reason for not sending a good morning message was that i had a speech in the morning assembly together with the whole event of 14th august but i was running late

but now i am back with holiday till Monday

so i spent my time watching that same anime (last season then imma comeback promise)

also they give a lot of homework in O2 gng (grade 10)

now mentally i was stuck in a dilema, you see the reason i am nice is because i choosed to be nice and friendly cause being harsh is like hurtful and bad and really causes the other person pain

this is all well and good BUT in real life sometimes you dont remember your own reason to do something and then basically what happened with me was like i got in touch with my cold and calculated side which was pretty heavy on my morals

like i began to question myself if i was really genuine in what i do WHILE I FORGOT MYSELF THAT I CHOOSE TO BE LIKE THIS i dont know why but lots of stuff

then i finally just sat in a corner and thought about how innocent my life really was when i was child with my biggest problem being HOW TO ESCAPE MAMA AFTER TELLING MY NICE AND KIND FATHER THAT I DIDNT WANT TO GO TUITION (story for another time)

but like thats what made me cry yesterday, thinking about how little i was and how carefree and amazing my life was, so simple it truly was and i got the love and everything

but once again i have accepted it and not in a depressing way, i look forward to what the future holds and wish to live my present to the fullest : )

sometimes when you go through stuff you dont always get the comfort and advice you give others to yourself or you forget your entire philosophy and ig thats just natural in life

i again apologize for not being here imma binge watch 13 episodes hopefully this night and a bit of tomorrow then imma be fully active

thank you for reading all my rant gng : )