My first love (26F) has spent the past year sending me (24M) signals at every party, then pulling back. Am I reading into it?

All names changed.

In 2021 I spent eight months with Manon. I wanted a relationship; she said she only wanted sex. We acted like a couple anyway — weekends, a summer job, she got close to my family. She ended it saying she was "losing control" and that I'd leave her eventually. Months later she got with Julien, a guy in my friend group. Then four years of nothing. I moved on properly.

Since June 2025 we've been at roughly six of the same parties. Every single one, the same pattern:

Physical. Hand on my chest. Kneeing me in the thigh. Playful slaps that escalated to actually hard. Hitting my shoulder laughing. Letting me wipe toothpaste off her mouth with my thumb.

Nostalgia, always specific, always about us. Showing me a photo of us at a club four years ago — while I was flirting with another girl. Recalling in detail a night I walked her home. Telling me she'd suggested my name to a pregnant coworker, joking that obviously not Julien.

Sexual. Miming the size of my dick. Joking about how good a frozen limoncello bottle would feel against her crotch, then giving me a look when a friend said "Antoine's got the best bottle." "I'm sure I could get you back." I said no. "No one's ever told me no." I reminded her I had, once. A friend told me she makes sexual comments about me to him and finds it unhealthy.

One long monologue. That she doesn't hate me, doesn't regret anything that happened between us, that I'm one of the people who knows her best and who she loves most, and that she'd never forgive herself if something happened to me.

Other people see it. At the last party we got so absorbed in a conversation that my cousin came over and told us to stop because everyone was staring. We laughed it off and spent the rest of the night teasing each other about it — "don't talk to me, people will think you're hitting on me." Then we went somewhere more private and kept talking anyway.

Julien. He's blackout drunk at nearly all of these parties crying, vomiting, falling over, insulting ... She's left early twice to take him home, criticized him to me, told a friend she didn't want him in the car with her, and ended one night screaming at him in the street. A friend has offered her a spare room if she leaves him. My cousin later admitted Julien was jealous enough to have asked her to interrupt us that night. It might sounds strange but i have nothing against him, we kinda get along when he's sober

And every time, she pulls back. Nothing has ever happened.

Two weeks ago we saw each other sober at a bar for the first time. She didn't avoid me, didn't seek me out. Nothing at all. That's what makes me think this might just be alcohol and nostalgia.

So: is this someone who's checked out of her relationship and testing whether I'm still an option? Or am I a nostalgic ego boost she reaches for when drunk? And either way , do I keep showing up, or do I go back to avoiding her?
If their are women reading this, how do you read her behaviors ?

TL;DR: My first love, now dating a guy in my friend group, has spent a year escalating with me at every party ( touch, nostalgia, sexual comments ) then pulling back. Sober, nothing. I can't tell if it's real or if I'm reading into it.