Oaxaca - Puerto Escondido. Driving, private transfer, or ADO?

My husband (38M) and I (38F) are planning a trip to Mexico for March 2027.

We want to visit Oaxaca (both city, mesa norte, and surroundings) and puerto escondido (whale watching, food, and beach). We are unsure how to get from Oaxaca to PE and back. I was hoping to get a car to be more independent, but when I lived in Mexico 10+ years ago it was drilled into me that I should never, ever drive unless it's a toll road. I see from the forum that this still seems to be true, but only in certain areas.

Is it ok for the two of us (unfortunately very German looking) to drive down and back, or should we stick to private transfer with viagogo, or even the ADO (which I assume is the least comfortable but the safest)?

Apologies for the question - I see some people are irked by safety questions, but I am just trying to make sure I am not a stupid tourist doing something all locals know as dangerous.