AITAH for "ruining" my best friend’s birthday by crying at 4:30 AM, or is she gaslighting me to end our 5-year friendship?

Hi everyone, I really need an outside perspective on this because I feel like I'm losing my mind and being gaslit by someone I considered my closest friend.

I (18F) have been extremely close friends with G (17F) for over five years. We live close to each other, and my house—and my mom—have always been a safe haven for her. Her home life is really tough and chaotic, so over the years, my family and I always opened our doors to her, supported her through everything, and gave her a safe space without asking for anything in return.

However, looking back, the dynamic was always a bit one-sided:

• Whenever she had a breakdown, I was always there. For example, at a mutual friend’s birthday party last year, she got upset because of a comment someone made, started crying, and completely shut down. The host (the birthday guy) and I spent a huge chunk of the party comforting her and making sure she was okay. No one accused her of "ruining" the party or "seeking attention."
• On the flip side, whenever I tried to express my feelings or had a bad day, she would often dismiss it, call me "dramatic" or "too much," and make it seem like she was "tolerating" me.

Fast forward to her 17th birthday party a few days ago: We had a minor argument two days before her party, but I went to her birthday ready to celebrate her. I was dancing, having fun, drinking casually, and hanging out. Later that night, a guy at the party got so obliterated he literally couldn’t walk—people had to carry him around. Nobody cared, everyone laughed it off as classic party drunk behavior.

At 4:30 AM, when the party was basically over and people were winding down, my dad showed up twice to pick me up because my parents were furious that I was out so late. I got extremely stressed, embarrassed, and overwhelmed. I ran inside to grab my stuff, and the stress hit me so hard that I burst into tears. I didn't make a scene; I was just overwhelmed, crying quietly about my dad being angry, and getting my things to leave.

Instead of asking if I was okay or showing an ounce of empathy, Gabi gave me a disgustingly cold reaction, pushed me away when I tried to take a quick photo with her before leaving, and later claimed I "ruined her entire birthday" by "seeking attention."

The aftermath: I texted her a long, very mature message explaining why I cried (stress about my parents), how hurt I was that she didn't even ask if I was okay after 5 years of friendship, and pointed out how unfair it is that everyone comforted her when she cried at other parties, but she villainized me for crying at 4:30 AM when the party was already done.

Her response? Complete gaslighting. She didn't address a single fact I brought up. Instead, she claimed:

1. She has "nothing to apologize for."
2. I "always play the victim" and "never see my own mistakes."
3. Brought up random, vague things about our other friends to deflect accountability.
4. Claimed "everyone who was at the party agrees with her" and knows how "terrible" I acted.

I then reached out to a mutual friend who was there (who is actually closer to herthan to me). That friend completely debunked G's version. She admitted that:

• I wasn't overly drunk or causing trouble at all.
• G rwas already annoyed at me before the party even started because of our argument two days prior.
• Shw was just looking for a reason to snap at me and used my 4:30 AM stress breakdown as a scapegoat to frame me as a "horrible, high-maintenance friend.

I am honestly sickened and disgusted by how calculated this feels. It feels like she used my vulnerable moment to turn herself into the victim and push me away, completely erasing years of loyalty and support my family and I gave her.

I'm considering completely blocking her on everything and cutting all contact, but I still feel this lingering guilt and confusion.

So Reddit, AITA for crying at 4:30 AM, or is she just a toxic friend who is gaslighting me? Should I block her and move on?