I turned 18 on August 11.

Honestly, it didn't feel like some big moment. No dramatic “I'm finally an adult” feeling or anything. I woke up, did my usual stuff, studied a bit, stayed at home... basically just another day.

Except for my family, no one wished me.

And yeah, I'm not gonna lie, that did hurt a little.

I don't even use Instagram or have some huge social circle, so it's not like I expected hundreds of messages. But when your phone stays quiet on your birthday, it does make you think about your life for a bit.

I don't really have friends. Not “I have friends but we're not close” — I mean I genuinely don't have that person I can randomly call, go outside with, send stupid shit to, or talk to when something is on my mind.

I'm pretty introverted anyway, and I've always spent a lot of time in my own head. Overthinking my future, studies, what I'm doing with my life, whether I'm falling behind everyone else... sometimes even thinking about things that probably don't deserve that much thought.

And recently I've been wondering if this is just what growing up starts to feel like.

When you're younger, you imagine adulthood as freedom, independence, money, career, relationships, etc. Nobody really tells you that one of the first things you might gain is a much clearer awareness of your own loneliness.

But I'm also not trying to make this into some “I'm lonely, someone please be my friend” post.

I'm actually okay with being alone most of the time. I've started to realize that being alone and being lonely aren't exactly the same thing.

Maybe the real challenge is learning to be alone without becoming disconnected from people, and wanting people in your life without desperately needing their validation.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking my 18th birthday lol.

For those who are older — did turning 18 actually change anything for you, or is adulthood just slowly realizing that nobody really knows what they're doing?