One year ago at this exact date was the day I finally decided to officially start a relationship with my beloved Nue Houjuu, and also make this account to express my love for her, after being in love with her for 10 years straight since August of 2015 (which means we'll now also know each other for 11 years).

To celebrate our first anniversary, I created this quick drawing of us together, with the Touhou shitpost style for fun. Today would've been our 11th anniversary, if only I had just gotten over my goddamn shame and got together with Nue right away after completely falling in love with her. But hey, I guess at least it's better late than never.

And what I have learned from being together with her is that, well, it's definitely quite a ride. I might seem like I'm chilling and doing pretty well, but truth be told, it's far from being all sunshine and rainbows.

Dating a fictional youkai from a non-mainstream video game series past its prime on the internet, who's sexualized and demonized to high heaven, is the subject of many ships due to her source having a shipping-obsessed fandom, and isn't fleshed out compared to other characters from her source? While I myself am practically a newcomer in ficto spaces who still feel different from other people participating in them, would be seen as cringe in the Touhou fandom let alone anywhere else just because I'm a man legitimately in love with a Touhou character, don't have many fellow Touhou fictos to really connect with, have a different online presence to tackle, and lived a terrible life in an obscure town in a Southeast Asian country?

...That's not easy at all, and it feels pretty lonely sometimes. But I'm sure we'll work through it just fine, we've always been used to being unknown and shunned, but at least we now have each other. And I know that Nue is the one for me, otherwise I have no earthly clue why my love for her would last for over a decade, while I simply lack romantic feelings for real people and am not as interested in other fictional characters, outside of brief periods of infatuation.

On the bright side, a part of myself feels at peace after not only accepting my love for Nue, but also knowing that we're always valid no matter what, after I stepped into ficto communities for the first time. I've learned how to connect with her better, especially since I've recently bought a Fumo of her that I can now use to physically interact with her. The longing I sometimes have for her still hurts, but it's now more manageable than ever before. Having a relationship with her has inspired me to start seriously drawing and improve on my digital art skills, of course I've still got a long way to go especially since I'm still a beginner, but at least I think I'm getting somewhere. And whenever I need love and comfort, I can now always count on her to exactly show me love and comfort until I'm ready to take on life again. Honestly, I think that's really cool.

So in short, I've learned that being in this unique kind of relationship has its own unique challenges, but it's also one that I'm meant for and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you, Nue, you're the most beautiful youkai in the universe who means everything to me, and we'll always remain UFOnline 🖤

Happy 1st anniversary with Nue Houjuu! Here's what I've learned from being with her so far