I can't lie to myself anymore, I want to have sex and I hate myself because of how I refuse to change

I am lazy. I will probably never do anything to improve myself and keep living in misery as I always have. I will never work out, i will never actively seek a better life and I will never go out of bed unless I fucking have to. I refuse to change. Until now I always tried to convince myself that I am okay with being a virgin no matter how old I get. "I don't even want sex or anything," right? But I do and I'm extremely ashamed. I hate my body, I hate how I can't talk to women, I hate how I am so scared, I hate how I don't have the motivation or energy to even get out of bed but before all of that I hate how lazy I am and how I constantly refuse to change. The last time I did a pushup was 2 years ago. I let my own incompetence even affect my worldview and I start hating other people because I envy them. I know I have no one to blame but myself yet I still let myself be so miserable. Just so much wrong with me.