I can’t get over the “stay together for the kids” hump

I am in what I would call a respectful marriage. We are kind and civil almost always, successful, and have two wonderful children ages 3 and 6.

I (36 M) have been deeply yearning for my wife (35 F) for the better part of a year. We’ve discussed this in great length, but I’m convinced there is no true “resolution”; I need desire / affection, she doesn’t, and for whatever reason she can’t give it to me.

I’ve been spiraling the past month or so, really bad. I don’t want a loveless marriage for myself, and I don’t want my children to learn that that is what marriage is supposed to be like, but I can’t fathom a reality where I don’t see them every morning when they wake up or every night before bed.

I don’t know what I want or need by posting this, I’m just so defeated. My children are my absolute world, and even knowing one day they are going to learn the reality that their dad hasn’t truly been the superhero they’ve thought he was is already crushing me. I also deeply wish I could understand why my wife can’t bring herself to be close with me but I can cope with that…honestly I’d have left long ago if my kids weren’t here but I can navigate feeling unwanted.