Struggling with faith after miscarriage

Hello everyone. Please forgive me as I dump my thoughts here and hope someone can provide guidance or reassurance.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive our second child for about two years. I’ve had a multitude of tests and bloodwork done and everything has appeared normal, yet still no baby.

We finally found out we were pregnant one week ago, on 8/4. We were ecstatic. We immediately told our closest friends and family, canceled future vacation plans, and began planning our life as a family of four.

Unfortunately, I started spotting. While I was assured that spotting can sometimes be normal, deep down I knew this was a loss. Bloodwork confirmed the miscarriage exactly one week to the day we found out we were pregnant.

I’m struggling deeply with my faith right now.
I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed. I’ve prayed rosaries, had Masses offered for my intentions, prayed over my womb and over this baby. I cried the entire way to my appointment, praying, “Lord, You are the God of miracles.” I was hit with a glimmer of hope, only to have it taken away. I don’t understand.

How am I supposed to be okay? How am I supposed to continue in my faith, claiming that God is good and faithful, when I feel completely shattered and misguided? I know He is not a genie. I don’t expect an easy walk. I know that faith doesn’t mean we will never suffer. But this pain feels insurmountable right now. I feel like I’m being punished.

To those of you who have gone through something similar. How did you continue trusting in God after experiencing such pain? How do I restore my relationship with him? I don’t want to pray or go to mass or do anything right now.

Thank you for listening.